Ep 7: He Stole My Money! DOUBT VS FEAR… Trust Your Gut.

Hey girl! It’s time for you to know that there's a BIG difference between fear and doubt! Today we're talking all about the difference, and I'll share a story on how my doubts should have steered me FAR AWAY from the guy who stole from me!

 

A lot of the time we misunderstand our own feelings. We may say that we’re scared of something, like maybe we’re scared of being with this new guy because he may cheat. But it’s important for you to really understand if you’re just scared of that possibility… or if you’re experiencing doubt in that person’s ability to stay faithful.

 

Because we all have experienced some crappy relationships, been through some shit, and have had men let us down again and again. And of course, those experiences bring fear into our lives... ‘cause we’re scared of that happening to us again and we’re scared of getting our hearts broken all over again.

 

Fear is normal. But DOUBT is a warning.

 

If you’re worried about someone cheating because something in your gut tells you to worry… you’re experiencing doubt. Something about his character has spoken to your soul to let you know he cannot be trusted.

 

And this gut feeling, this doubt, is IMPORTANT!!! 

 

You can choose to ignore that doubt, act like it’s a crazy fear you have, and stay with him, living in worry all the time. (Only to get hurt in the end because you were right about your gut feeling).

OR

You can choose to take the warning signs, and start really paying attention to his character.

 

Knowing the difference between fear and doubt can literally save you time, save you energy, save you from heartbreak, and can even save you a LOT of money!

 

Here’s a little story I have about doubts and fear, and how my gut tried to steer me away from a guy who eventually STOLE from me! :

 

About 2 years ago, I started trying out online dating. I met this guy who lived close to my area, and we had a good vibe going for about a month online. So we decided to go out for a first date!

 

He chose the restaurant, he chose the time, and I met him there. We clicked, and everything was going smoothly on the date, but something was still feeling “off”. He seemed really cool, and the conversation was great! But I was a little fearful of starting a new relationship because of my shitty past relationships… but besides that fear, my gut was telling me something was wrong. Of course, I ignored it and I told myself I was just scared because of my past.

 

Now, he had a full time job, a nice car, his own apartment, and had his shit together (so he said). So I thought for sure, this would be the first date I’d ever gone on where the GUY could actually pay for ME! I felt like maybe he was the gentleman I’d been looking for all along.

 

We were talking about EVERYTHING, and laughing, having a good time. But then he started to talk about his troubled past and how he was in with the wrong crowd for a while. He told me that some of his old friends liked to steal credit card information to buy whatever they wanted… and then he just stopped being friends with them.

 

WHY this came up, I have no idea. But it did. We moved on to talk about other things and then the date came to an end. He got the bill, and paid…

But his card was declined.

 

He was embarrassed but gave the waitress another card. And that card was declined too 🤦🏽‍♀️.

 

So guess who had to pay??? ME! 

 

I felt embarrassed for him, annoyed that I got my hopes up, I still felt like something was “off”, and most of all, I felt like I just wanted to pay the bill and move on! 

 

Even after that, I ignored my gut instincts and decided to go on a 2nd date, 3rd date, etc.

 

But about a week after that first date, my debit card was compromised! Someone spent $1500 of mine… at Walmart. And the person using my card was in the city where HE lived (somewhere I hadn’t been in years). 

 

Was it him who stole my money?? I’ll never get the truth from him, but my gut tells me it definitely was him!

 

But I still ignored the doubt and tried to stay with him. We dated for a few months, and then he was all of a sudden missing for weeks at a time, not really wanting to talk or spend time on me. And I kept feeling like he was just using me.

 

So I tried to tell him about those feelings, but in the end he decided to leave me because my doubts were “messing up” the relationship.

 

I truly believe my gut was trying to tell me something from the very beginning.

 

My gut was trying to tell me to LEAVE NOW!!! Because I felt so strongly that he was using me. But I ignored that doubt. And in the end, I was being used. I wasted time, energy, feelings, and MONEY!!!

 

It’s okay to have fears based on your past, but you should make sure you have those fears under control (check out episode 4 for more on this topic). It’s actually NORMAL to have fears based on past experiences.

 

In relationships in general, I personally have a huge fear that any new guy I’m dating is gonna turn out to be just like my crazy ex. But it’s really just an irrational thought that’s in my head based on my past that I’m projecting onto someone else.

 

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real

 

We think it could happen, and sometimes this fear can make us so scared that we sabotage the relationship early on to try to protect ourselves, or we don’t even try a new relationship because we’re so scared.

 

But DOUBT is when you don’t believe that a person is going to do what he said he’d do. You don’t believe in him.

 

Fear is when we’re scared that something MIGHT happen, even if their characteristics prove to be honest and great.

Doubt is when we don’t trust someone to be honest because their characteristics prove to be dishonest and shady AF.

 

Your gut is way stronger than you give it credit for. Your gut always tells you the truth when your mind plays tricks on you. You may have tricked your mind to “hush” and not to think bad thoughts. But your gut… your gut will tell you all sorts of truths, even if you don’t want to know it!

 

Understand if you’re scared he’ll cheat based on something thats happened to you in the past, or if you’re doubting him being faithful because of his characteristics.

 

If it’s doubt, and you’re mistaking it as fear, you may be wasting precious time!

 

When you ignore doubt & ignore your gut feelings, in the end… those doubts we had end up coming true anyway.

 

You’re always going to have a little bit of fear when jumping into a new relationship, especially if you’ve had horrible experiences in the past. But fear doesn’t mean someone is gonna do something bad to you.

 

But doubting someone is different. Doubt means something is wrong, and you need to watch out for this person. 

 

The moment you realize that you doubt somebody, start paying attention to their characteristics, to their actions. Open your eyes. Communicate with him. Start seeing him for who he is.

 

When you doubt someone but you stay, it can be torturous.

 

Doubts can eat you up alive! You’ll be living with insecurities, resentment, worries, and you’ll never feel secure, happy, or positive vibes. It sucks. And doubt can ruin your outlook on every man who tries to show up in your life in the future.

 

Listen to your gut. Doubt is telling you that something in that person’s characteristics is deceptive, dishonest, and negative. Ignoring doubt just delays the outcome you already know is coming.

 

Take the warning signs!!! Talk about your doubts with him. And if the relationship ends, that’s OKAY. It’s for the better, and your gut knows it.

 

Remember that YOU ARE A Trooper Chick. You know what you deserve, and you don’t deserve to live in doubt.

 

So please, do yourself a favor, and listen to your gut. Stop mistaking your doubts as fear, and really start paying attention to people’s characteristics. You’ll be saving yourself from a total shit show. 

 

Quote of the day:
“There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.” -Rumi

 

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Ep 6: I Was Crying at a Bar… HOW OPINIONS CAN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS

So it was SUPER embarrassing, but I cried at the bar last weekend when I was hanging out with some family friends.

In todays episode, I’ll tell you why I cried, how opinions can ruin relationships, and what I learned about society & haters.

 

Last week was Valentine’s Day… Happy late Valentine’s Day!!!! ❤️ I hope you had a day, week, and month full of love girl!

On Valentine’s Day, of course I felt extra special because my boyfriend made it his goal to surprise me with gifts, and to shower me with love. So I was on a “love high” and feeling good about my life (and still am!) when I went out with my friends a few days later.

I went out with a group of my family friends (and my mom) for Margaritas and Mexican food because you KNOW I can’t turn down a good drink with chips & queso! The group of women that I went out with are the people I’ve grown up with since I was born. They’re basically like my extended family, my family by non-blood. They’re some of the strongest women I know, and I look up to them. And I’ve also learned A LOT from them!

Now, although I was in a very happy mood and having a great time in life, the people I went out with weren’t feeling life as much as I was. Their hearts have hardened because of men treating them like shit in the past, and I honestly don’t think they even care about this love holiday that just passed. So trust me, I didn’t even want to MENTION my Valentine’s day, because I knew it would probably bring up negative feelings at the table.

While we were at this restaurant, I was talking to them about the launch of my podcast and my website… and of course, there’s ALWAYS that oooone person who just doesn’t get you or why you’re doing what you’re doing. And that’s fine. So I started explaining, having to justify why this is a good idea in my life… and I absolutely hate doing that because I don’t think any person on Earth here needs an explanation or break down of my life. Like I don’t owe anybody an explanation! But I did it anyway.

And even though I’m super confident in my decisions to start this journey, and I’m super happy with where I am, their comments and displeased looks were starting to get to me.

But I told myself not to take it personally and we moved on.

Later in the conversation, we got on the topic of relationships & love. Now… I have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half now, but I don’t openly talk about it with family (or even some friends) because I KNOW people won’t understand and will judge me for dating someone who I met online.

I don’t need the negativity, the doubters, worriers, or naysayers to bring any of that energy into my life.

And if life were perfect, I truly would just expect for all of my family and friends to look at me and treat me like I’m smart (because I am), like I’m rational (because I am), and like I make good decisions (because I do). I think my character in life so far should prove to them that whatever I’m doing is probably something great for me. 

But… life isn’t always perfect. So of course when we started talking about relationships, I had some doubters. I was asked if I have a boyfriend and I FINALLY TOLD THEM! (Well my mom already knew, but the others didn’t.) And I was excited to talk about him because just thinking of him makes me happy!

Like I predicted, they started to doubt, laugh at me, ask me questions that they didn’t even want to hear my answers to. They started making assumptions, and took everything I was saying as a joke.

And ya’ll…

I try to think of myself as a strong person who doesn’t let things get to her.. but the way that they were literally ignoring all the good things I was saying, the fact that they were ignoring how HAPPY I had been before they started joking about me… the way they literally were trying to make me believe that my relationship is just a joke--

 I Just. Couldn’t. Take it! 

My heart was hurt. And it wasn’t hurt because they didn’t believe in my relationship. It was hurt because for the first time, it became clear to me that these women have always tried to plant their fears, doubts & worries on me.

So… the tears came. And girl, I couldn’t stop it! I was crying. With margarita in hand. At the bar!!!!  🤦🏽‍♀️

It was horrible! But now I can laugh about it because I know I looked ridiculous haha!

But I want to tell you why this was so painful to me.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now, have thought of every crazy scenario that could happen, have done my research, have talked to him plenty of times and seen him talk to me plenty of times that I KNOW he is who he says he is. And I KNOW that what we have is not a joke. Because we talk every day, and have the deepest most meaningful conversations (and the lightest funniest conversations), we’ve argued and made up, and we have literally talked about EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT you can imagine.

He’s my best friend, my support system, my encourager, my inspiration, and he’s been nothing but positive, loving, & supportive of my dreams since day one. 

But regardless of all that, the ONLY person I ever need to worry about putting an approval stamp on this relationship is me… and of course, God.

Mine and Adam’s relationship is only between me, Adam, and God. So all the haters can just keep their comments to themselves because it doesn’t make a difference in our relationship.

But what was so painful for me, was that these women who I have grown up watching-- their own relationships were so bad, their own hearts had turned so cold towards love, that they couldn’t even allow for ME to be happy and feel loved. They wanted to strip that away from me the moment that they found out.

They tried to guilt me into feeling bad that I’ve been dating someone I met online for a year and a half.

And to be quite honest, that’s none of their business! I didn’t need their permission then, and I don’t need it now. Just like I didn’t need their permission to start a podcast or a business. And I think this was a big learning lesson for me.

See, just last year, I was a people pleaser, constantly trying to gain the approval of others, looking for permission to take the leap and do the things I want in life. Always letting people walk all over me and tell me what they want me to do with my life.

That day at the bar… I may have been crying. But I finally was standing up for myself! Through my tears, I let them know that just because they don’t understand, doesn’t mean they need to laugh at me or discourage me from doing what I’m doing.

And I quite frankly let them know that the relationship I’m in with Adam is probably SO much stronger than any of the relationships I saw them in while I was growing up. 

And guess what???

They actually agreed. They admitted that what I have IS definitely better than the shitty relationships they’ve been in. They told me they don’t think I’m stupid for doing what I’m doing, but they laughed because they just couldn’t understand. They couldn’t do what I do.

They aren’t bold enough to do the things I’m doing in my life right now.

And sadly, they admitted that they’ve given up on relationships and dating and love because of all their bad experiences.

I couldn’t help but think in my head… so why would you try to discourage me from doing things differently?? Because if I follow their examples, I’ll have more horrible relationship experiences, and end up with a heart unwilling to receive love.

And honey, that’s NOT what I want.

So I learned a few lessons that night at the bar:

  • Nobody’s opinion truly matters anymore
  • You can’t let outside influences sabotage your new relationships
  • You can be a Trooper Chick in ALL areas of your life, not just when it comes to relationships with guys
  • It’s important to stand your ground, speak your truth, and let people know you’re not living life for them.
  • Live life for YOU! And do what makes you happy.
  • Being bold & courageous makes you feel freakin’ AMAZING!!!
  • Don’t take things personally. People's responses are based on their own perceptions. And that’s not your problem to deal with.

Most importantly, I think we all need to be aware of how we respond to others. A lot of times, we immediately laugh at people or try giving advice when it wasn’t asked for.

I love my family friends and I know it’s not intentional. They don’t mean to discourage me or make me feel like I’m crazy for doing something… it’s just a habit. And I think we all need to break that habit.

Because you never know when your words discourage someone from doing something awesome or life changing. You never know when your opinions make someone feel like they’re unworthy of living the best life they can.

Your words and your actions leave long-lasting impressions. So be intentional. Be encouraging, supportive, and loving.

I’m very proud that I’m in a place in my life where their opinions didn’t make me doubt myself or my life. And I’m SO proud that I finally stood up for myself and let them know I’m done with people pleasing, and not here to listen to their negativity.

I hope YOU are inspired to do the same. 

Be you. Always be your best. Live life on your terms, and be unstoppable!

Quote of the day:
“People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours.” -Bob Mayer

 

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Ep 5: Can you really MAKE HIM LOVE YOU??

Have you ever believed you could MAKE someone love you??? Does it work? We're answering this question once and for all in today's minisode.

Maybe you realllllyy like a guy, and you think that you can make him fall in love with you and everything will be perfect…

Or maybe you’ve been feeling like you can change yourself and then you’ll finally make your bf fall back in love with you! 

But can we really make someone love us???

I’m gonna tell you something… you are ONLY responsible for yourself. You are only in control of YOU. And only YOU know when you’re being true to yourself.

So if you continue to stay true to who you are, and someone doesn’t like you for that… why would you want to try and MAKE that person love you?

Changing yourself in order for a man to love you is scamming. It’s truly like you're FORCING someone to do something that’s unnatural to them. You’re not only forcing yourself to be someone you're not, but you're trying to force someone to fall in love with you when it’s not what they wanted...

Forcing someone to “love you” is never going to make you happy.

You deserve someone who loves you for you, who respects you, who thinks you’re freakin’ awesome. Because you ARE!!!

If you’re THAT scared of being single or alone that you’re ready to basically scam someone into being with you, then something is seriously wrong. You’ve gotta be okay with YOU and love YOU before anyone else will be able to.

Your worth is not determined by someone else’s opinion of you.

So if you want someone to love you forreal… here’s the secret: LOVE YOURSELF!

When you truly love yourself & can stand being alone by yourself because you love you… then other people will love you for exactly who you are as well. And they’ll love being around you!

Anyone who doesn’t appreciate you for exactly who you are isn’t worth your time.

So no, you can’t truly MAKE someone love you. You can try to… and it may work temporarily. 

But to find REAL LOVE that will last… you can’t force it with someone who doesn’t want you just the way you are.

Do yourself a huge favor, and don’t try to force love with someone who doesn’t deserve you!!!

Love yourself. And then you’ll attract the man who sees your worth, sees your great qualities, and loves you for you. And that, my friend, is the goal.

Quote of the Day:
“You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them to realize your worth.” -Unknown

 

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Ep 4: SCARED of New Relationships, AFRAID to Trust, UNDERSTANDING OUR FEARS

Today we’re talking about fears. Yes, your fears may be valid, but that doesn’t mean that they have to control your life forever, & they don’t have to be the reason why you sabotage your new relationships.

So how can we get rid of our fears??? Honestly, we can’t always get rid of every fear we have. But we CAN stop them from controlling us. So in today’s episode, we’re talking all about how to understand your fears & get a grip on them.

 

After having a horrible relationship or a bad breakup, we get paralyzed by fear. It makes us scared to enter new relationships, afraid to trust, and terrified of getting our hearts broken again. It makes us expect & fear the worst from EVERY man we date afterwards.

But no matter what happened in your past, and no matter how successful your new relationships will be in the future, there’s ALWAYS gonna be some form of fear in our heads. 

And it’s completely normal to have those fears after dealing with the crazy things we’ve dealt with. But we can’t let our fears control our lives! It’s time for us to acknowledge & understand our fears.

A lot of times, society makes us feel like we have to stay quiet about the fears we have. We’re not supposed to let people know that we’re terrified of something. And we’re supposed to act tough, like nothing gets to us.

I think that’s BS! Because when you can actually start to understand your fears & you can express those fears… they lose their power over you. They’re no longer controlling your life!

After being in my abusive, toxic relationship, & after being cheated on, I had the hardest time letting go of my fear. I let my fear of being cheated on make me insecure in my new relationships for almost ten years!

And if I’m being completely honest with you, I STILL have that fear that the love of my life is gonna break my heart. It's a fear that’s always in the back of my mind. But instead of letting it control me, I chose to acknowledge it. I chose to be open about it and tell my current bf about it, and you know what??

He understood it completely! And he doesn’t hate me for having that fear… he just wants to know that I can keep it under control!

So how can you get a grip on your fears so they don’t control your every move & sabotage your new relationships???

First, you need to acknowledge the fears you have. Open up the lines of communication & talk to people about it. Talk to yourself about it. Get really clear on what it is you’re scared of.

Then get out a journal and write! Writing things out gives you so much clarity, & helps your brain make connections. You’ll be surprised what you realize is an irrational thought once you put pen to paper.

 

Here’s some questions to get you thinking about those fears when you’re writing (plus my own example of how I worked through this):

 

#1: What am I scared of?

For me, I have a fear that every boyfriend I date will cheat on me. 

 

#2: Why do I have that fear? (This validates our fears)

I have that fear because I was cheated on more than once in the past by someone who said he loved me. It hurt a lot!!! And my heart was shattered. I didn’t think I could get through life anymore. This is a valid reason to have the fear I have now.

 

#3: So what does that fear mean?? If that fear came true, what would it mean?

In my head, I might think that if someone cheats on me, it means I’m not good enough to keep a man. That something must be wrong with me, or that I’m the problem.

 

#4: Now, is that really true???

Honestly? NO!!! It’s not true. It’s not my fault that someone else makes a decision to be unfaithful. That’s their decision, not mine. It would reflect on his character… not mine.

 

#5: If its not true, now what does it mean?

So that means that if a guy does cheat, it’s his fault, and I’m really not the problem. If he cheats, I actually dodged a bullet, and I’d be glad I got to see his true colors sooner rather than later.

 

#6: What would it mean if that fear never even came true?

If that fear of mine never comes true… that means that the person I’m with now is faithful, loving, and could be a great partner for me. And that means I can have a relationship with trust. So I don’t have to let my fear stop me from trusting this new guy!

 

See, it’s important for us to validate our fears because it lets us know that we’re not crazy to be thinking the way we are! We have a good reason! But we don’t have to allow that fear to stop us from living! We can’t let it control us for the rest of our lives!

Remember, you can only control yourself and your actions. You can never control the actions of others. So while the fears you have may be valid, it doesn’t mean that you should continue to suffer for the decisions someone else made, or for the shitty characteristics someone else has.

Start to change your mindset about your fears… they’re probably irrational thoughts preventing you from moving forward.

Anyone who’s ever been successful in life got there by dancing with their fears, not by letting them take control.

So its okay to have fears. Just choose to dance with them instead of standing on the sidelines watching them have all the fun.

When you can understand your fears, they lose their power, life changes, and things get easier.

Quote of the Day:
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

 

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Ep 3: Mental Blocks, AFRAID to Get His Number, MAKE THE DECISION & GO GET WHAT YOU WANT!

Let's talk about what's really stopping you from asking that guy for his number.

The fear of asking a guy for his number  probably has nothing to do with you being shy to talk to him, but has everything to do with your mindset.

In our past relationship fails, we’ve developed a thick skin and a habit to stay away from that sorta thing! Just like when you burn your hand on the stove and your body naturally reminds you every single time you’re near a stove to be careful & don’t get too close!

We’ve built up these mind blocks around love, relationships & dating that are supposed to keep us safe. And it’s up to us to actually let those blocks go. 

If you have a dream of getting married some day and having an awesome family of your own… you can’t actually get there if you continue to hold on to these mental blocks. 

The problem with you asking a guy for his number is that you have established a very strong mental block in your mind. It’s like a wall that you refuse to climb over. And the fear of asking him isn’t the actual problem… it’s that we are SO scared that he might say NO!

We’re so scared of getting rejected that we’d rather just stay in our comfort zone of being single so we don’t have to hear those horrifying words! We’d literally rather stay single just so we can avoid possible rejection. 

But how are we everrr going to get to our dream goal of getting married and having a family if we aren’t taking the steps to allow that to happen in our lives????

You absolutely have to let go of your mental blocks around love, relationships & dating to actually move forward towards that dream.

And honestly, you shouldn’t be too scared of rejection! Because… do you even realize how much guys are really interested in women who are confident enough to talk to him and make the first move???? GIRLLL lol guys dig that shit!

But in all seriousness… if you want a serious relationship some day, you gotta work towards it cuz he’s not just gonna fall from heaven and land at your door step at random.

And if you’re unhappy with being single, that means you’ve gotta change it up. You’ve gotta get out of your comfort zone to make something change in your life. If you’re single, and a guy rejects you… what’s gonna happen?? Nothing. You’ll still be single. So why not take the chance to see if he might say yes?

If you’re comfortable being single & continuously staying in that "single" mindset, that dream guy of yours is never gonna come! You’ll never find him that way. You have to have a mindset of “I’m gonna get what I want! Yep, I’m gonna find that guy I’ve been dreaming of!!!” 

That means you’ve gotta be open to dating, open to relationships, & open to making the first move if you have to.

If you want to make something work, you’ll figure it out.

Change your mindset into being & feeling ready to receive love and healthy, happy relationships. Because if you don’t have a mindset of believing it can happen and being ready for it… if you don’t believe it’s possible, then you aren’t allowing yourself to even come close to reaching your ultimate goal.

You truly have to be ALL IN in your mind that you are open to receiving love from whatever persons God sends your way. And you have to be open to trying new relationships. And you can’t be scared to get into a new relationship, or to start dating. Cuz whatever guy you try talking to… whether that guy is there for the long-haul and ends up being your soulmate, or he’s just there to stick around for a season, every relationship happens to teach you a lesson. So just be open for possibilities & lessons.

By not trying to get into a relationship, we think we’re playing it safe. But you can’t stay safe in the single zone forever, not if you eventually want to settle down and start a family.

Being in a good, loving, happy relationship is truly a DECISION.

If you’re over there overanalyzing and picking guys apart, thinking he’s not worth your time before you even try… you really aren’t doing yourself any favors. Because you’ll never know if he’s the one or not unless you actually give him a chance.

So the first thing you need to do is decide. If you want to find your dream guy rn… you have to decide! Decide that that’s what you want and you’re not gonna stop until you find him! Because I promise, you’ll make it work if you decide that thats what you want.

With decision comes action, intention, manifestation, & execution. 

 

#1: Action

Once you decide on what you’re looking for in life, you’ll start taking the steps to make it happen. You’ll start searching for a great guy, you’ll be ready to ask for numbers, ready to date, ready to find love.

#2: Intention

You won’t be dating someone just because… you’ll actually be dating with intention. You’ll be looking for someone who takes you seriously and has great characteristics. You won’t be settling for some guy who’s just looking for hookups.

#3: Manifestation

When you make a decision & stick to it, you start putting a different type of energy out into the world. When you show the universe what you’re looking for & make that statement, the universe will see that you were serious when you made that decision. And it will send you want you’re looking for. But you’ve gotta be 100% ALL IN with your decision.

If you can visualize what you want and feel the emotions of what you want in a relationship… you can manifest it and MAKE it happen!

#4: Execution

When you decide on what you want, execution also happens. You make your dreams become reality. When you know the feeling you’re chasing, you won’t stop until you reach it. 

But that means that you can’t just half-ass the execution. You can’t say “Oh I’m ready for my dream guy!” and then be totally shut down when you’re interested in a guy. You can’t ask for something and then turn down opportunities that are presented to you. Because that in turn just resends a signal to the universe that you AREN’T actually ready. 

You can’t trick the universe. EVER.

If you aren’t 100% in and you haven’t truly made the decision to be successful in relationships… its not gonna work.

Please note: It’s not a question of IF you can make it work… it's that you can’t be successful if you haven’t decided on what you want.

And here’s the thing… as a human, if you don’t want it bad enough, it’s not going to happen for you. You’ve gotta want it soooo bad that you make the decision to actually make it happen for yourself. When you decide that you want to be successful at this & you decide that you want a healthy relationship, it will happen for you.

Everything in life is a decision. It’s a choice.

Happiness is a decision. Single-ness is a decision. A relationship working or not working is a decision. Starting a conversation, or letting it pass you by is a decision. Everything is a decision that YOU make.

So be bold. Go after what you want. If he says no, it’s not meant to be. And you should be thankful for no’s because it filters out all the people who aren’t meant for you! And when you finally do hear a YES…. oh its sooooo worth it! lol

Being single right now may really suck. Or being in the relationships you’ve been in before might have REALLY sucked. But all the success stories you hear about women who’ve gotten married to their soulmates after having to deal with some shitty situations first… it’s because they hit rock bottom, and from that bad place they found a lot of pain, but they used that pain as fuel instead of seeing that sucky situation as the end of their story.

So if you’re in a bad place rn, that doesn’t mean that six months from now you cant be an entirely different person in a very different place. You can always change who you are and change your life.

You can make your own story. It’s your choice, your decision.

Quote of the Day:
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

WORK WITH ME!

www.breakupstobreakthroughs.com

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