Posted by glen on October 13, 19102 at 04:02:30:
In Reply to: HELP! I cannot masterbate! posted by Beth on October 05, 19102 at 19:00:13:
No one seems to reply much these days or maybe I just have to much time on my hands.
Anyway there might be two reasons why your having trouble reaching orgasm on your own. One is that you might not know how to stimulate your own body as well as your partner can. The most likely reason though is mental. For some people it can be hard to get into the right frame of mind sexually and therefore diffuclt to acheive sufficient degree of arousement to orgasm(particually on your own). I think generally women require a much higher degree of arousement to orgasm then men do. Most men can come almost mechanically and don't require much mental effort. Which I think is also why men don't have as big an orgasm as women do. The stronger the arousement prior to orgasm the stronger the orgasm.
I have no problem coming, being male, but I have never felt that my orgasms were particularly strong. Usually I have felt kind of dissappointed when it happens. What made a difference was spending more time fantasising and building up the fantasy slowly with as much detail as possible. Spend a lot of time in forplay(imagining), take your time and give your body and mind time to tune in sexually. I find when I do this I can acheive a much higher degree of arousement and then the orgasm is more satisfying, in your case you will have a better chance of acheiving orgasm. For me, feeling deeply aroused is more important than the orgasm and is highly pleasurable, the orgasm is just the iceing on the cake.
Initially I found doing this a bit boring because habitually I just wanting to cut to the chase so to speak. With practise I got more into it and it has really helped to bring a more satisfying sexual experience.